Posted by admin on 27th August 2003 in Uncategorized

My heart has been skipping a beat or two…..moving, shifting and floating with all the changes I’ve been running into. Not easy to stay grand in this truly self defining phase. Wanting desperately to be swept away by the brilliance life consists of. Yearning to accelerate into the present moment.

Sitting with my most intimate self, wondering why does it not last. Why is there so much disgust on that pretty face I saw on the A train today. It is essentially nothing but a reflection of my self I must recognize. I promise to be on my best behavior for sure. Not for an instant allowing anyone to recognize who I truly am deep inside.

Franticly needing to stay wrapped up in whatever. Screaming on top of my lungs, don’t do it, don’t you dare bare your soul. They might not like you. Slyly humorous is what comes to mind. Living a dream of fear that wasn’t created by me but all the same feels like a warm Sunday morning blanket wrapped around my naked skin.

Slowly, taking a close look. Intertwined within that little black cloud that feels kind of snug in that way, hogging up all the space for itself. Today, I am more loving, I am more caring, I am more knowing, I am more effective, I am deliciously intelligent, today I feel more alone and less lonely than ever. Now that I have begun to scratch the surface, entering the kingdom of crossing personal boundaries.

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